Sometimes Dr. Phil isn't a total tool...
A piece of advice for my non-married friends, my recently married friends, and... Britney Spears:
Don't listen to those saps that lie and tell you that the first couple years of marriage are wonderful and exciting and its all one big honeymoon. They lie. They must be feeling as if everyone else had this great time and so they should have too. Then they spread the lie to you.
The first year or two of dating is exciting. Marriage is work. But there are trade-offs. There are benefits that come from marriage that you won't find from living together.
Sometimes, though, you just have a hard time seeing them the first couple years. (Sort of one of those "can't see the forest for the trees" type deals) And when the same old couple that was there on your wedding day--when you were at your best-- when that same couple asks, "How's married life?" Then you will smile and put your arm around your husband/wife and lie. "Wonderful!"
The greatest moment comes when that old man pulls you, as a husband, aside, puts his arm around your shoulders, and tells you that he knows. That he's been there. That everyone has. That you can continue to lie when asked that question. (Cause it's usually easier that way.) But that you shouldn't get discouraged.
With the divorce rate so damned high, though... I don't think enough of us have that old man to tell us the what's what.
Recently on his show, Dr. Phil quoted a wife as saying something like this: "The secret to our marriage is that in the past 8 years at least one of us was in love with the other at all times"
It is hard when you have those days that you aren't the one in love. It is even harder when you are, and alone. But the hardest is when neither one of you feel anything. But I and my wife, when this has happened over the past year, we've woken up every morning and we've tried. Thank God... because it has not been easy.
What makes it all worth it are the days you get up and you look at your husband/wife and you know: "As for being in love, at least for today, we both are."
We have more of those days now.
Don't listen to those saps that lie and tell you that the first couple years of marriage are wonderful and exciting and its all one big honeymoon. They lie. They must be feeling as if everyone else had this great time and so they should have too. Then they spread the lie to you.
The first year or two of dating is exciting. Marriage is work. But there are trade-offs. There are benefits that come from marriage that you won't find from living together.
Sometimes, though, you just have a hard time seeing them the first couple years. (Sort of one of those "can't see the forest for the trees" type deals) And when the same old couple that was there on your wedding day--when you were at your best-- when that same couple asks, "How's married life?" Then you will smile and put your arm around your husband/wife and lie. "Wonderful!"
The greatest moment comes when that old man pulls you, as a husband, aside, puts his arm around your shoulders, and tells you that he knows. That he's been there. That everyone has. That you can continue to lie when asked that question. (Cause it's usually easier that way.) But that you shouldn't get discouraged.
With the divorce rate so damned high, though... I don't think enough of us have that old man to tell us the what's what.
Recently on his show, Dr. Phil quoted a wife as saying something like this: "The secret to our marriage is that in the past 8 years at least one of us was in love with the other at all times"
It is hard when you have those days that you aren't the one in love. It is even harder when you are, and alone. But the hardest is when neither one of you feel anything. But I and my wife, when this has happened over the past year, we've woken up every morning and we've tried. Thank God... because it has not been easy.
What makes it all worth it are the days you get up and you look at your husband/wife and you know: "As for being in love, at least for today, we both are."
We have more of those days now.
posted by Moonlighting in Misery at 8:27 AM
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