Job Hunting and Big Feet

I received my first call for an interview yesterday. This, of course, is not interviewing for the "Big Game" . . . just the minors, a summer clerk position here in Lubbock.

Yet it is still quite terrifying. I've never been interviewed for a professional position before. Well, unless you could say that of a "family minister," but somehow it doesn't seem quite the same. That interview was done over dinner. Not quite so daunting, I'm afraid.

I still need to lose at least an inch off my waist so that I can fit into my gray $400 suit. I want to look professional for this. The cheap JCPenney suit just ain't gonna cut it, I'm afraid. So I've stepped up the crunches to two workouts a day.

I also went shopping for a very good pair of dress shoes last night. First stop: Dillards.

Now, I worked retail for 3 years. I went through the 3-tiered interview process and was offered a position with Dillards but in the end decided the extra $2/hour wasn't worth the headache of working with that management (and others). I ended up at JCPenneys, dealing with the headaches that come from working with high school kids and old ladies, instead. And was happy.

Why, then, do Dillard's associates (to be more exact: the old men) making 8-9 bucks per hour think that they have any right to be snobby??? They are, after all, working retail. And let's face it -- the Dillards at South Plains Mall ain't even close to resembling Rodeo Drive.

But, alas, they are. Helpful, yes. But snobby, even more so. The guys eyes lit up with disgust when he saw my white socks. (My wife hasn't quite mastered the art of using bleach and washing the whites separate, so my socks are all different shades of color) And he offered me a sock, which I politely refused.

So first thing I try on: a $160 pair of Cole Haan cap-toed leather sole dress shoes. They just didn't fit. That's it. Nothing more. It wasn't the price. I promise.

And yet, after two pairs he decided to try forcing my feet into the rubber-soled shoes instead. I didn't want rubber-soled. I'm interviewing for a position in a LAW FIRM. I need to look PROFESSIONAL. I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE PRICE!!!!

MY FEET ARE JUST FREAKIN HUGE, OKAY?!?!? But no dice.

"We only have the wide shoes in lengths up to 11. I'm sorry you have enormous size 13 boats. Perhaps you need to go down to Party City and rent some clown shoes. They might be more appropriate."

Which brings up another question: why carry wide shoes only in small sizes?? Can't people with long feet have wide feet too??? That is a question to ponder today.

My wife, in an attempt to console me, leaned over and whispered: "Well, I don't care. I really like your big feet." And then followed that with a wink.

So I told the guy I'd have to think about it and I went to my old fallback, instead: JCPenney.

They were laid back. They could care less if you bought anything. And they had a nice cap-toed black leather shoe WITH the leather soles . . . on sale 20% off. (Oh, and it fits . . . mostly)

Now if I can just lose at least an inch before next Tuesday. Hmmph. I'll knock 'em dead.