What Does It Take to Be a Law Student?

My extended absence from posting has not gone without some degree of lament on my part. But if there are any who tune in to read about life as a law student . . .

The absences say as much about studying the law as do the posts. You must love the law, because the other things you love will sometimes have to take a backseat.

HOWEVER, this is not what the title of this post was meant to deal with. What I want to ask is this:

Though as law students we were all required to perform at least reasonably well on the LSAT, we all have graduated with some undergraduate degree, and we did so with at least some amount of success . . .

so

HOW MUCH SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE DOES IT TAKE TO BE A LAW STUDENT?

Unfortunately, I am beginning to believe, not much.

Twice in the past month our Dean has found himself in the untenable position of reminding the student body:

(i) There is a certain degree of social decorum expected of future attorneys which (reading between the lines) is not an unreasonable burden given the somewhat-accepted penchant of law students to drink themselves silly;

(ii) The Dean does have a responsibility to make sure only "suitable" individuals are allowed to become lawyers; and

(iii) Even though we aren't always quite sure what the word "suitable" means, "unsuitable" can be much more clear at times and, when this happens, the Dean will not hesitate to refrain from recommending a person for admittance to the Bar.

What does this mean?

It means:

(i) Don't go to a party, sponsored by one of the professors, dressed in black-face, an afro wig, and carrying a grotesquely large phallus. It is especially important you supress any impulse to begin chasing your fellow female law students around with your, uhm, "prop."

(ii) Don't send out mass e-mails to your fellow law students espousing personal political views regarding an issue upon which we will be voting and implying that 2/3 of the student body are close-minded hypocrites for their faith and personal beliefs.

(iii) Don't look at porn when you are in class. Seriously. How much intelligence does it take for a person to realize that if you are sitting in the middle of a class of 60, and you have porn open on your computer, at least 30 people can look over your shoulder and see it?? Let us suppose half of the 30 are women, and at least one-half of the men probably don't find viewing pornography during class a very appropriate diversion. That makes about 23 people. 23 people you have just offended. 23 people, among whom at least one is bound to complain.

Oh, and by the way, people can also read your instant messages, as well. So it is probably not a good idea to bad mouth people over IM because--while you might not be around anyone who could read it or would care if he did--the person you are sending it to just might be. Also, having cyber sex during class is also not a bright idea.

Wow. This makes law students sound like absolute idiots, doesn't it? But, before you judge us, wait a minute. We aren't all bad.

We were told yesterday that, though there is a big problem on the main campus with the use of cell phones during class . . . there has been no problem with us.

So it makes me wonder: If undergrads all used laptops, what kind of trouble would follow them?