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Friday, March 17, 2006

Chris the Pirate Ninja

I could not possibly have imagined just how thoroughly the subject of Ninjas v. Pirates had already been dealt with on the internet. In fact, it has led to some extremely heated and nasty debate at times.

My initial inclination was that Ninjas are totally sweeter because of their "skills." Y'know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills . . . Because girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. And Ninjas have skills.

But Pirates have the beach. And boats. And alcohol -- lots of it. And gold. And Johnny Depp. And girls want those things too.

"Dave P" on one forum wrote:

Pirates by a long shot [they are] like nowaday rappers.

Always running with a crew
Always have lots of ladies (wenches) around
Tons of bling (treasure)
Dope rides (big ass boats)
exotic pets (parrots)
and way cooler slang than most people.

But then "LUDELVR" wrote in the same forum:

Man, I'm taking a training course on how to be a ninja, and yes, in the book I"m reading right now, it states in big black bold letters "Ninjas must be trained properly before they can flip out and kill everyone because if they're not, they will only kill half the city" It's right there!!!! So yah, unless they are not properly trained then you can only expect half the number of dead people!But....everyone always dies when a ninja flips out so logic would have that every ninja is well trained! :thumbsup: for the ninja!

And "buh_buh" wrote:

if a ninja can flip out and kill an entire city, what makes you think a ninja can't flip out and kill an entire ship full of pirates? We're talking a single ninja here. If there were 2 or maybe 3 . . .

So how can I choose between those two equally plausible arguments?

Simply, I can't. But then I discovered I don't have to . . .

Because there is one indisputable truth --

Regardless of which is sweeter -- Ninja or Pirate -- nothing is sweeter than a Pirate Ninja named Chris. Nothing.

No. Nothing.

So initially I was thinking neither MVaughan nor Walking Tort were right. Afterall, the hybrid trumps every argument, right?

But I didn't ask about a hybrid. And they were the only people awesome enough to vote on the question . . .

So they both win.

The first half of the week, this blog belongs to Walking Tort and the second half it belongs to the lovely Mary Wahne, given to her as a gift from MVaughan. So enjoy, ladies . . .

And enjoy your free t-shirts. Pictures of the shirts they have chosen will be posted below. You too can own one of these t-shirts yourself . . . you just need to visit the link to the Moonlighting in Misery "Official Stores" included on the right sidebar.

Good news -- I am also in the process of lowering my prices between $2-4.

And, finally, as promised . . .

DISCLAIMER: Walking Tort neither endorses the content of this blog, nor finds anything about it even mildy entertaining. That being said, Camel Nose Under the Tent now owns Moonlighting in Misery and so just be thankful I have allowed him time to write this nonsense in between his picking up my dry cleaning and waiting on me hand-and-foot.


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