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Friday, June 17, 2005

Friday SpiesĀ©: A Mil-hume Production

1. Which relationship will last longer, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie ("Brangelina"), or Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes ("TomKat")?

Honestly? I could care less. Angelina is a home-wrecking whore and the Tom-Katie thing is like watching some horrible auto accident but being completely unable to avert your eyes even when they finally, by using the Jaws, are able to get the door open and out falls some mangled unrecognizable hunk of human flesh.

That hunk of flesh . . . that is Tom jumping up and down on Oprah's couch. As for me, I'm going to join the "Free Katie" movement. I hope it is subversive. I want to carry a big gun and wear a black beret.

But if you really need an answer-- I hope it is Brad and his whore. Why? Because "Brangelina" is fun to say.

2. Less importantly, which will have nuclear bombs first, North Korea or Iran?

Depends on which one has the most oil . . .

Ha ha. Just kidding but I had to throw a bone to my liberal friends for just one second.

North Korea already has a (or more than one) nuclear warhead, I believe. Or at least it is strongly suspected.

3. What is your dream car?

Cadillac Escalade. Fully Loaded. 'Nuff said.

4. What book have you read the most times?

I should be answering: The Bible. But, honestly, I've never read the entire thing. There are parts I have memorized and have read over and over and over. Many many more parts i've read through a few times. But I haven't once read the entire thing. So that won't be my answer.

So, it is a tie . . . at 4 times each, the books I have read the most are:

On the Road by my beloved Jack Kerouac; and

Crime and Punishment by my Russian friend Fyodor Dosteovsky

5. Are you a matchmaker?

What did you call me?? I've been working out so I know you're not looking for a fight.


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