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Friday, June 10, 2005

Friday SpiesĀ©

1. What is the earliest movie you remember watching in the theater?

The Navigator. At least I think that was its name. It was a Disney movie about a boy who gets picked up by a space ship and when dropped back off, he is the same age but 20 years has gone by. Then NASA finds out and they take him away from his parents and lock him up to do tests on him but he escapes by climbing inside this robot and then he and the spaceship go back in time so that he can be dropped off and go home like nothing ever happened. Awesome movie! My grandmother took me to see it.

Or was it: Firestarter with Drew Barrymore? Yeah, that was the first movie I remember seeing while sitting in the back seat of the drive-in eating red licorice.

2. If you could strike one word from the English language, which word would you choose and why?

"BUT." I can't stand that word.

"Your resume was impressive, BUT we've already filled the position."

"You're a really sweet guy, and cute, BUT I just want to be friends."

"I could just let you off with a warning this time, BUT I'm not going to do that."

(And heres the kicker:)

"Law School really only needs to be 2 years long . . . BUT we want to torture you and keep you here one more year to make you get more grey hair, gain more weight, and take on more debt."

3. If you were a superhero, what would be your kryptonite?

Actually . . . the word "BUT"

You can tell its coming from a mile away -- like a speeding train coming down the tracks blowing its horn -- but you just can't seem to avoid it hitting you. It will definitely be the death of me.

4. Would you rather win an Emmy, Grammy, Tony, Golden Globe, Oscar, Pulitzer, or Nobel Prize? What work would you win it for?

A Daytime Emmy award for my outstanding performance in the role of Markus Misery on Days of Our Lives -- he is the somewhat-less-than-perfect disgruntled law student who, though never once taking off his shirt to show a glistening chest to the camera (thank God!), manages to make "women" of at least 3 of Salem's most beautiful while exposing the fact that:

A. this Belle is an imposter;

B. John REALLY can't act (which says ALOT when you are that bad surrounded by the cast of a soap opera); and

C. Salem, as a governmental entity, has been systematically violating the constitutional rights of all poor and/or ugly people by excluding them from the ability to make Salem their home, or to shop there, or to go to the hospital, or out to eat, or to have a conversation on the street -- operating under a policy for which there is no "rational basis" and then he convinces the Supreme Court to start bussing in new residents from Appalachia to integrate the whole town.

(Please don't ask me how I know anything about the show Days of Our Lives. If you are curious: Research. For my second career.)

5. What is your catch phrase? Don't have one? Then make one up!



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