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Friday, July 15, 2005

Friday SpiesĀ© : Living and Dying in 3/4 Time Edition

1. What time do you go to bed? What time do you wake up?

If by "go to bed" you mean "can no longer keep your eyes open" and if by "wake up" you mean "finally come to, wipe the drool off the book(s) and/or keyboard, wonder where you are and then realize the sun is up and your work/studying/research is not complete yet" . . .

then, well . . .

anytime I get the chance, bay-bee.

2. What do you want done to/with your body after you die?

I want to be hoisted in a great polished casket atop a carriage drawn by two white horses and followed by a jazz band playing "When the Saint's Go Marching In" followed then by a procession of my family and friends.

Prior to this, I want to be the guest of honor at a huge banquet with lots and lots of food and alcohol and music. (and, no, I don't care if anyone drinks a bit too much -- deal with it! Its my funeral and I don't care if its unseemly. You can make the rules when you die. This is my time now.)

After the party, they can just dump my body wherever they like. I don't care.

3. Describe your dream house.

A plantation-style mansion. Stately. White with great columns across the front supporting he regal overhang which shades the large porch and second-story balconies.

Upon entering you find yourself in a great hall two stories tall with marble floors and two curved staircases to either side. During the Holidays, a special tree will be placed here so that it might command the whole room when you enter.

On the first floor, just off the entryway hall will be a sitting room, a dining room beyond which is a large kitchen, a family room and a library. All of these will be open but can be made private by large sliding doors.

There will be at least 5 or 6 bedrooms upstairs, including the master suite. This suite will be at the back of the house with its own sitting area, fire place and whirlpool tub. It will also have a private balcony which overlooks a pond/lake behind the house so in the warmer months I can take my breakfast/coffee on the balcony and enjoy the sunrise.

This house will sit on a large estate which will make up my ranch. I think I will name the ranch Tara Too. Or perhaps something more stately like, "Elm's Bend."

Somewhere on the ranch will be bunkhouses so that it can be used by churches for retreats. I would also like to start a charity and partner with other charities that target the inner-city so that children from the inner-city can be brought out on the weekends to fish, ride horses and four-wheelers, see the animals, swim and otherwise experience something different in life.

The bunkhouses can also be used for family, y'know, when they come to visit. Three days they can stay in the house. Any longer, they're escorted to the bunkhouses.

4. Are you an excellent driver? Do you speed, or drive the speedlimit? Ever been ticketed?

I'm an excellent driver. Yes--Yes I am, I'm an excellent driver. But we have to be home by 4. Yes, by 4. We have to be home by 4. I am an excellent driver but we have to be home by 4.

What happens at 4, Raymond?

Wapner's on. Yes, we have to be home by 4. Wapner's on. I am an excellent driver.

5. What is your favorite animal, mineral, and vegetable?

Animal: Dog

Mineral: Who in the world has a favorite mineral?

Vegetable: Cucumber


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