We Were Absent the Day They Taught That

Lessons Not Taught in Law School That Should Be #72: Sharing is Good, Sharing is Right, Sharing is the best way to prevent a Fight.

I know a guy -- we'll call The Fonz -- that works for a litigation services company.

(For those don't know what a litigation services company is -- for a hefty price they'll do copying, produce electronic courtroom presentations, organize, sort, and store evidence, or generally anything else a lawyer doesn't want to do personally).

So back in January, during the NFL playoffs, the Fonz's company started giving away nerf footballs to their law firm clients.

At one particular mid-sized firm, the Fonz knew of a secretary who was a single mother raising an 8-year-old boy. So, being the cool guy that he is (I mean, he is the Fonz), he took one of the footballs along when visiting the firm and gave it to this secretary for her son. Then left.

Not two hours had gone by before he received a cell phone call from the receptionist of the firm:

"Mr. Fonz, the football you brought for [Secretary] was a nice gesture, but it has caused a lot of trouble. In fact, [Secretary's boss] took the football for himself. And I've been asked to tell you not to bring anything else to give away at the office unless you can bring enough for everyone."

So the Fonz -- quite furious -- immediately went back to his office, grabbed 20 more footballs, and took them to the Firm. He gave another one to the Secretary and told her to hide it, and dropped the rest off with the receptionist.

He then called me and yelled: "You all belong in kindergarten! Every last one of you!!"

I believe it was Shakespeare that wrote:

"The first thing we do is kill all the Lawyers!"

Amen.