Throw Down Your Hammer, Thor

My camping story is a lot less exciting than Walking Tort's.

After buying the fishing gear, tackle box, and tackle, adding to my other camping supplies, fueling up the car, and loading up the camping food and necessities,

we'd spent $200.

Then I called the Parks & Recreation department to ask how the camping was . . .

(I didn't need to know how the fishing was--it is early spring, the water is just warming up, and I could've landed more bass than . . . well, than . . . [insert your own relevant topical reference here])

And I was told not only was the statewide Burn Ban still in effect,

But I couldn't even light a grill to cook our hot dogs and smores.

. . . Uhm, what?

We still haven't had enough rain to ease up on the burning restrictions?

I'll tell you what -- don't be alarmed if you drive by my house and I'm dancing around the tree naked in my front yard. Maybe I can make the Big Man upstairs laugh until He cries, and we can get some rain . . .

Or at least maybe the state will let me have my campfire.

I am seriously considering moving to Seattle.