Three Dog Twilight

When I was 16 I was visiting my father in Houston when I discovered Jimmy Page and Robert Plant (2/3rds of Led Zeppelin) would be performing in the Bayou City just after I was scheduled to go back to Oklahoma.

I begged my mother and step-father to let me stay an extra week so that I could see the legendary Page & Plant play together . . .

I begged hard. It didn't matter. I have always lamented missing that concert.

Until last night.

I saw Three Dog Night play live at the civic center in Odessa last night. And there is something just a little bit sad about aging rockers. I'm not sure I'll ever listen to "Never Been to Spain" again without picturing a pot-bellied old man with long gray hair and great jowls in droopy black jeans sporting a "Vote for Pedro" t-shirt and a microphone.

I would never want to have the same picture while pounding away at the Immigrant's Song.

I had great fun, I did. I mean, Three Dog Night was a great band. I'd bet more people can pick up on the lyrics "Jeremiah was a bullfrog . . ." than could finish the the line "There's a lady who's sure, all that glitters is gold and she's buying a . . ."

But they have slowed down. Waaaaay down.

The concert started right on time, at 8pm. A rock concert. Starting on time. Imagine that.

And it ended promptly at . . .

9:25. 1 hour and 25 minutes later. No, really.

Hey, its fine with me! I had work today.

Thank God for aging rockers who need to be in bed by 10. Afterall, can't miss Law & Order.

But it has had me thinking all day long . . .

So many of us at least once in our lives had the dream of being a rock star. For every person that has ever picked up a guitar, or perhaps a pair of drumsticks, you know there was at least once you imagined looking out over a stadium full of screaming fans . . .

But I never once stopped to think about what my old age would be like---until today. And so I decided to make a comparison to see which would be better: being an Aging Lawyer or an Aging Rocker.

I've made my mind up, now you tell me what you think . . .

Aging Lawyer: Gets to wander around the office peering into associates' offices telling jokes and all the old war stories.
Aging Rocker: Gets to wander around the country peering into dark county livestock show and rodeos telling jokes and stories about how "in 1972 I was sitting in my garage getting stoned when . . ."

Aging Lawyer: Gets to wear whatever he pleases to work, within reason, and no one is going to say anything because he built the firm up to what it is today
Aging Rocker: Gets to wear whatever he pleases but cares little for reason as he looks like some old pervert who'd been skulking around the mall checking out the teenage girls when Hot Topic threw up on him

Aging Lawyer: Started as a lowly associate with a small, bare office and dreaming of the corner office with the big leather couch and all of the game trophies . . . and worked until he got it.
Aging Rocker: Started as a young rock star with a dressign room stocked with girls, beer, a bowl full of black jelly beans and dreaming was done in a smoky haze . . . and smoked it all until he lost it.

Aging Lawyer: Once argued a case before the U.S. Supreme Court . . . and won for his oral advocacy.
Aging Rocker: Once urinated on the steps of the Supreme Court . . . and was arrested for his, uh, non-oral advocacy.

Aging Lawyer: Recently hired to argue another case before the Supreme Court again because of his stellar reputation.
Aging Rocker: Recently urinated on the steps of the Supreme Court again because he couldn't control his bladder.

Aging Lawyer: A working evening consists of smoking a cigar in quiet club with other old attorneys throwing stories at him.
Aging Rocker: A working evening consists of singing in a smoky club while old women throw their bras at him.

Aging Lawyer: Woke up one morning and realized that Enron and Global Crossing stock had taken about 10% of his retirement
Aging Rocker: Sobered up one morning and realized that the manager, the drugs, and the few hundred different girls had taken about all of his retirement

And last but by no means least . . .

Aging Lawyer: Has enough money so that a young blonde 20-something would marry him hoping he'd quickly die so she could have his money.
Aging Rocker: Has enough fame so that a different young blonde 20-something will sleep with him every night so she could have his "celebrity."


I should have kept up with the guitar lessons . . .

(O, if you are curious, she's buying a Stairway to Heaven).