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Friday, January 20, 2006

A Conversation Between Rosemary and Her Baby

At about 11 O'Clock last night the cell phone rang, playing the very distinct "Me & Bobby McGee" by 1960's singer Janis Joplin:

Rosemary's Baby: Yeah?

Rosemary: Whatcha up to?

Rosemary's Baby: Watching some kids get busted. Can I call you back?

Rosemary: No. I need to tell you your grandmother is in the hospital.

Rosemary's Baby: Is she alright???

Rosemary: Yeah. She just had a pain in her right arm. They're keeping her overnight for oberservation but she should be all . . . hey? Are you paying attention?

Rosemary's Baby: Yup. Sorry. This is just very entertaining.

Rosemary: More important than the fact your grandmother is in the hospital?

Rosemary's Baby: Well, uh, no . . . but you just said she's going to be allright. So if she's okay, its not every day I get to watch a group of kids getting busted for possession.

Rosemary: Where are you?

Rosemary's Baby: In the living room, looking out the window.

Rosemary: And what is going on?

Rosemary's Baby: Two cops have four teenage boys handcuffed sitting on the curb outside my house . . . well, uh, only one is handcuffed. The other 3 are just being humiliated. And they've got a baggie of dope they found on the handcuffed one. Its sitting on the hood of the cop car. With a lanyard.

Rosemary: What's a lanyard?

Rosemary's Baby: Y'know, those ribbons or strings you put around your neck and attach name tags or car keys to.

Rosemary: Oh. Okay. Wait, I still don't know what you are talking about.

Rosemary's Baby: You know . . . if you go to, like, Old Navy or JCPenney and you see the associates all have their name badges hanging around their necks by a string--that is a lanyard.

Rosemary: Oh. They don't just pin them to their chest's like they used to?

Rosemary's Baby: Not in a long time, mom. Oh, hey, one of the boy's father just showed up. This should be good.

Rosemary: They're being busted for having a little pot? Noooooo. Those cops should just leave those boys alone! Its just a little dope.

Rosemary's Baby: A little? Its about half a ziploc baggie full. I don't bet he was going to smoke it all himself.

Rosemary: Half? That's nothing. Maybe if it was packed full . . . but, c'mon. They were just having a little fun.

Rosemary's Baby: Well, hell . . . Like I said I don't think it was all for that guy alone! The other guys are lucky . . .

Rosemary: And the one is taking the fall for his buddies, huh?

Rosemary's Baby: Yeah.

Rosemary: That's nice of him. I almost got busted once. Thank God for McDonalds.

Rosemary's Baby: McDonalds took the fall for you once, huh??

Rosemary: Yeah. We convinced the MPs that the dogs just smelled our hamburgers.

Rosemary's Baby: Well it's too bad they're not all going to jail. This is just way too funny. Dumb, cocky kids. Ha ha, the father is yelling at his kid now while the one cop is shining his flashlight in the kids face.

Rosemary: You are evil.

Rosemary's Baby: And you are a hippie.

Rosemary: Can you open the window to hear what they're saying?


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