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Monday, May 01, 2006

To Kill a Mockingbird II: Boo's Back

It came to my attention that on the same day the barricade was erected around the Demon Bird's lair, the flood lights in the law school parking lot stopped coming on at night. Apparently this occurred for about three straight nights . . .

On Thursday night, the day I first posted on this evil creature, I had gone up to the school to deliver some papers to the professor for whom I tutor. And as I slowly approached the barricade, two girls emerged from the black night . . .

"They've turned out the lights to appease the Bird," one law school betty commented as she nervously sipped from a cup of coffee.

"You think?" I asked.

"We know," the other chimed in. "It has been like this since they erected the barricade. They don't want to make him mad."

I chuckled. They responded with two very serious stares, as if to say shhh, he's listening.

Of course when I authored the last piece, it was predominantly tongue-in-cheek. How was I to know it was this serious???

I would have imagined the liability of the school for a few well-aimed pecks and lightly-bloodied scratches coming from our Malcontent Mockingbird would pale in comparison to the liability that would arise from a female law student being violently accosted in a pitch black parking lot.

But who am I to second-guess the judgment of the great decision-makers?

Perhaps I have underestimated the ferocity of this little beastly bird . . .

Saturday I again had occasion to go up to the school. And what I found was quite frightening. As I approached the area of our bad bird's bounty, my veins grew cold and I was suddenly stopped in my tracks . . .

What had once been a barricade meant to symbolize peace, was now violently overturned . . . with each post turned outward and the orange-and-white striped boards laying face down, still connected.

And atop the boards bounced two hurried pigeons pecking, pecking at the boards, as if to exlaim proudly the victory they had wrought.

This is war.

But I am not soon to find myself in the midst of an Alfred Hitchcock film. No, sir.

Isn't it the great public cry in these present times that diplomacy works best? Those those who are quickest to fight, are surest to lose? That we and our enemies can live in peace, and conflict need not be a zero-sum game??

I have discovered a sparrow is building a nest under the eave of my porch. And I am not about to drag my own house into this conflict; let the brave law students who tread their way up to school each day fend for themselves.

My wife and I have gone out and purchased a bird feeder, as an offering of peace. And more have come. I will go out and buy another today. I cannot keep up with their demands . . .

As I sit and carefully watch them watching me as they feed, I am reminded of a verse of Poe's:

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!

Nevermore.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Start complaining how that bird is going to drop your school rankings in USN&WR. That's how we got rid of our dean.

5/01/2006 3:08 PM  
Blogger That Guy said...

Shoot it, eat it.

When you eat the flesh of your enemies, other would be adversaries take notice and reconsider their future acts of aggression.

5/01/2006 7:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beware of the mocking birds, don't dabble into unnecessary trouble.

Bravery and I are not on intimate terms. My natural curiosity is tempered with caution – thus I've lived long.

I'm not in good terms with any bird... except maybe the albatross, she's a well travelled bird which is why. You see birds give you unlikely notions; not a good idea. I advise you to read the book Dangerous Birds by Janet Lembke, she certainly knows her boundries and birds when it comes to taking risks.

5/02/2006 10:21 AM  

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