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Thursday, October 28, 2004

U Know U Ghetto

Ha Ha.

I think I lost about 50 "ghetto" points yesterday when I finally had my windshield replaced.

A rock hit it on the way to Houston last New Years. The small crack slowly spread until it was covering the entire windshield.

U know u ghetto!

Nope, not so much anymore.

I finally came up with an extra $300 to get the thing replaced (thanx to the generosity of my in-laws).

Now that i can see clearly now. . .

Maybe I'll work on pimpin' up my 92 Ford Taurus.


Wednesday, October 27, 2004

The West Wing

What?? What?????


Leo is dead??

Perhaps it is time for a regime change on this show.

Everything I need to know I learned in Kindergarten

Recently I came across an article online that talked about "getting smarter." As for nutrition, it said that--yes-- fish is a brain food, but then so is anything else with amino acids. The best thing for your brain is to eat well.

Hmmm. I can do that.

Physically, the author said sleep is the best thing for the brain. If you get less than 7-8 hours per night, you can lose 30% of what you learned that day and up to two days prior. If you spend 2 extra hours studying, you still won't do as well as the next guy who spent those 2 hours sleeping.

Okay. I think I can remember that.

As for mental "exercises," he listed simple silly little games like putting different objects in order and categorizing things by touch, taste, or smell.

Wow. That actually seems simple.

So what you are telling me is:

All I need is a snack, a nap, and a puzzle. Then I'll do well?


On a Related Note:

For law students,
I am organizing a new study group. We will start meeting the two weeks prior to Finals. We will be meeting at Golden Corral, Furr’s, Taste of China, and Whistlin’ Dixie Barbque (not necessarily in that order). Each session will be immediately followed by long naps. If anyone is interested, please let me know.

For non-law students:
I am looking for volunteers to read us to sleep with excerpts from our Civil Procedure casebook. A big plastic blue chair will be provided. We can not pay, but we will seriously consider representing you "pro bono" on your future armed robbery charges after we have graduated and passed the Bar. Please reply for more info.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004


Today they break ground on the new "Lanier-wing" of the Law School. I shouldn't say "wing". Hell, this thing will double the size.

12 Million. That is how much its going to cost.

6 Million. That is from one donor.

The administration and faculty want the students present for the ground-breaking.

You don't have to tell us twice. We wouldn't miss the chance.

We all just want to see the Tech Law School graduate who has made enough money to give 6 MILLION back.

I sit in class and watch students window-shopping for their Jaguars and Porches on the internet. Changing the paint. Choosing the interior.

"If only..."

Yeah, if only we can shake his hand and perhaps a little of his success will pass off on us.

Eh, you can have your Jaguars. I just want a black robe and a gavel. That'll make me happy.

Monday, October 25, 2004

"Swingers" (Law School version)

I borrowed the following from a student at UT Law. What he has to say is usually pretty freakin' hilarious, especially if you are a law student. So check it out at

Now, for those of you who know the movie Swingers with Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn, this adaptation may take you back (to completely find the humor, it also might help if you are in law school):

"Scene From a Firm Reception"

Mike approaches a group of friends, having just gotten an attorney’s business card. He's excited.Also, he looks devastatingly handsome in his suit.

ThreeL: See, man. It’s not that hard. It’s what they’re here for.

Mike: I know. I was just nervous. This is my first reception. She seemed interested, though.

Two L: So…litigation?

Mike: Nope. IP. (Everyone reacts favorably to this department.)

Mike: So, how long do I wait to call her secretary and try to set up an interview?

ThreeL: A week.

Mike: Next week?

ThreeL: No...

Other ThreeL: ... Next week, then a week.

ThreeL: ... Yeah.

Mike: So, two weeks?

ThreeL: Yeah. I guess you could call it that.

Other ThreeL: Definitely. Two weeks. That's the industry standard...

ThreeL: See, I used to wait two weeks. Now everyone waits two weeks. Three weeks is kinda
first-tier now, don't you think?

Other ThreeL: ... Yeah. But two's enough not to look anxious...

ThreeL: Yeah, but three weeks is kinda Order of the Coif--

Mike : --Why don't I just wait four weeks and tell her that I was cleaning out my Torts book and I found her card...

TwoL: ... then ask where you met her…

Mike: Yeah, I'll tell her I don't remember and then I'll ask what firm she works at. (pause) Then I'll ask if we shagged. How's that? Is that first-tier? Is that Order of the Coif?

ThreeL: Laugh all you want, but if you call too soon you can scare off a nice firm that’s ready to make an offer.

Other ThreeL: Don't listen to him. You call whenever it feels right to you.

Mike: How long did you guys wait to call your firms?


ThreeL & Other ThreeL: Six weeks.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Movies a guy can cry at.

Friday Night Lights. Ladder 49.

I don't care how tough you are, try to watch either of these movies without getting choked up. Friday Night Lights has football, glory, football, dreams, football... and then when you finally start to relive your own high school glory days-- they lose. Not knowing the story, I'm like, "what the hell?" If you've been there yourself, you can't see this movie without getting a lump in your throat.

And as for Ladder 49... what could be more about being a man than fighting fires?? yeah, you watch that movie and tell me how you feel afterward.

Do you ever drink? You know that way you get after you're three beers past your limit? You either want to fight someone or love everyone. Exactly. Watch Ladder 49 and tell me you don't have an urge to hug some fireman, proclaiming, "I love you, man... No, i don't think you understand... You are so cool. . . rushing into buildings like that. you are just awesome. Friggin AWESOME! I just love you, man!"

Ladies, you wanna see your man break? Don't even try talking him in to renting "The Notebook"-- try one of these instead.

(One suggestion, though, don't make it noticeable when you roll your eyes as you hold your big linebacker-boyfriend sobbing against your chest. Please. It's just not cool at all.)

Friday, October 22, 2004

My Victory (Short Lived), in two parts


Prof.: "Mr. Misery, can you tell us under the Colorado scenario how much the injured cyclist should receive for his injuries when he wasn't wearing his helmet?"

Me: "$70,000"

Prof: "70,000?? Good Lord, Mr. Misery, how'd you come up with that figure?"

Me: "Well, the jury said the cyclist was 40% at fault for the accident. But 10% of that fault was for not wearing the helmet. Under the Colorado scenario, the plaintiff can't be barred from recovery for any negligence due in part to failure to wear a helmet, so he is then 30% at fault. The total damages are $100,000, minus the 30%; therefore, the cyclist gets $70,000."

Prof: "Seems a bit high to me, don't you think? And what happens to that extra 10%? You think it just gets tacked on to the defendant?"

Me: "Yes"

Prof: "What in the world would give you that idea?"

Me: "The Colorado Court."

Prof: "But where do you get $70,000?"

Me: "The Colorado Court."

Prof: "Well, that's not what I came up with. I came up with $66,667 for the cyclist. What's wrong, Mr. Misery, the look on your face says you don't know what happened to the phantom 10%."

Prof: (to the class) "I think Mr. Misery would make an excellent plaintiff's attorney."

Thursday: (Cylist Reprise)

Prof: "Okay, I went back and looked at the problem of the cyclist and determined I may have been wrong. It could have been $70,000. Does anyone know why? Uh, yes, Mr. Misery?"

Me: "Because, as I was trying to explain Tuesday, the extra 10% negligence for not wearing a helmet can not be used to bar the cyclist's recovery? If he was only 30% at fault, he should be held accountable for no more than 30% of the damages."

Prof: "But that is wrong. Does anyone know which is right: 70k or 66,667k? No? Does anyone know what the Colorado court would say? No? Well. . . neither do I."

Hmmm. . . well, for a minute I was right anyways. . .

In Law School even the short-lived victories are precious.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Baseball Surprise (Reprise)

Ah yes, I was just reminded of the Curse of the Bambino in relation to my last entry on the Sox in the series.

But, can curses eventually wear off? Is there no statute of limitations on a damned curse???

(If not, i'm in serious trouble.)

I bring up this question not because I want Boston to win... by any stretch of the imagination. I want to see a National League team win the series.

But Boston did pull that unbelievable come-from-behind to win the ALCS. In that case...

I don't want to take any chances. So, of my two favorites (who are now playing each other) I must pick the one I feel has the best chance of assuring an NL victory.

Sorry, 'Stros... i really love you guys... but, Go Cards!

Baseball Surprise

I have been oblivious to the world of baseball since Sunday when I watched the 'Stros beat the Cards in game 4... and kept checking back with the Yanks during study breaks.

But I find out today that the Yanks played gamed 7 last night??? And LOST?? Hmm . . . where have I been? And has the world turned upside-down since I've been gone?

Oh well, the Cards and 'Stros are tied 3-3 and go in to game 7 tonight. Now, before moving to Houston, I was a BIG Cards fan. I still have the $70 McGuire jersey I bought the year he broke the HR record.

But then I started listening to the 'Stros games during those long drives around Houston. And they started winning. And I started going to games. And they kept winning. Then, invariably, every year since 98-99, if they made it to the playoffs they ran into the brick wall that was the Braves. But now they've made it this far, and it is game 7: what do I do?

It is quite cruel that both of these teams have to get this far the same year.

So, while I LOVE the 'Stros and would want more than anything to see them in the Series, I am going to have to cheer for the Cardinals.

Why? Because, simply put, I think they have the best chance of beating the Red Sox.


Wednesday, October 20, 2004

The West Wing comes too close for comfort.

I have to ask-- in watching the West Wing tonight, am I the only person in American to find a resemblance between the President on the show and the dialogue coming from John Kerry???

"undermine our moral authority"??? Give me a break.

I much preferred the way Tobey put it: the Prez is a "feckless wimp."

The current situation on the show is hitting way to close to home for comfort. The last thing we need is a President that will face down Congress, his entire cabinet and the American people... refusing to take action against a terrorist. That isn't leadership. I don't care how John Kerry wants to paint it.

That is being afraid to accept the consequences of taking a new and definite course of action. Instead, he'd rather try another round of peace talks. Let's see how NBC wants to pain the situation.

Oh, and by the way-- Alan Alda playing a Republican?? Give me a break.


You've gotta spend it to make it.

Today is the "practice" midterm in Torts. I, however, decided I was not going to stress out over this one like I did with the "practice" midterm in Contracts. I'm just going to take it for the experience, if I get an "F" he'll never know since we use pseudonyms.

Prof. Contracts canceled another 3 days of class. This time it was for personal reasons. Oh well, perhaps when I'm practicing copyright/patent law I won't get many cases involving contracts.

We also have a "workshop" on building a resume, finding the right employer and getting prepared to look for a job. From the way I understand it, we begin looking for employment by our second year of law school.

This only goes to prove the point: law school is too long. Why 3 years? Why have 3 years then cram most of what we need into the first one, and let us coast through the next two?

Why? Money, I think. So they can make more money. Law school and getting into law school is such a racket. But... what am I complaining about? I've got a full scholarship.

Imagine, however, I'd actually accepted admissions into one of those schools in Virginia. Even with a 1/3 scholarship, I'd be paying something like $23,000/year. Then there are living expenses. I'd be poor forever paying off the student loans.

Oh well, at least by going to Tech I'll get my Escalade sooner.

Shiny. Silver. Tinted windows. I wonder if I could James Bond it all out?

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Another "boring lawyer" day.

They are beginning to recur with more frequency now. One day I can be funny and find things funny--the next day not. Yesterday I became so desperate at the thought of not laughing, I went out and rented the movie "Envy" with Jack Black and Ben Stiller. I mean, c'mon, it has Jack Black and Ben Stiller. How can you NOT laugh at them? Now, I'm not sure if it is the Law or was the movie. . . but, no, it didn't happen.

I saw Rodney Carrington's sitcom the other night. Now, I can listen to the same Rodney Carrington stand-up act over and over and laugh hysterically. But, watching the show? Nope. No funny.

Perhaps my salvation will come in the form of "My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss." That looks funny.

Oh well, I suppose I'll go back to studying for my "midterm" in Torts tomorrow. For this test, I get to practice my new favorite pasttime: figuring out how to sue people.

And in doing so I will have slipped further along the downward spiral until, yes... i can hear it now... the chortle.**

**refer to the post "Law School Makes You Boring." for an explanation of that vague reference.

Monday, October 18, 2004

A Turning Point in History

In two weeks we will go to the polls and cast a vote to elect the man that will lead this nation for the next four years. Very rarely in history have Americans been faced with a choice as important as the one we will make on November 2nd.

In 1994 the Republicans shook the Congress loose of the grip of the Democrats who, until that mid-term election, had controlled it for decades. I, being a Democrat at the time, comforted myself with the realization that it didn’t really matter who was in power. Life would go on as it always had. Complacency became common as we became comfortable.

The 1996 election did not prove to be any different. While I was a Clinton supporter at the time, I don’t imagine the world would be dramatically different had Bob Dole won. The budget would probably still have been balanced. There would have probably still been a surplus. And the economy, still riding the internet wave, would have boomed.

The only possible difference I see is that George W. Bush would not have been elected and could not have led this nation through the days of September 11, 2001. I doubt Bill Clinton’s, I doubt Al Gore’s and I even doubt Bob Dole’s ability to have done so with as much strength and courage as was displayed by our President of the time.

With this election, then, we have arrived at another great turning point in history. President Reagan envisioned as much during his time when 22 years ago he foretold of the fall of Soviet Communism in his “Westminster Address.” As a people under the leadership of Reagan, we may have doubted but we did not fail. We met the stringent demands of our responsibility to freedom and the world. And on November 9th, 1989, Americans watched as the Berlin Wall was torn apart. Just two years later, Reagan’s vision became reality as the Soviet Union fell to the same fate.

Last November President Bush echoed Reagan’s sentiments about the spread of freedom in a speech to the National Endowment for Democracy. He explained the need for America to help freedom find a footing in the Middle East.

To the critics and doubters that say democracy in the Middle East will never work, Bush quoted Reagan in labeling such belief “cultural condescension.” He continued:

“After the Japanese surrender in 1945, a so-called Japan expert asserted that
democracy in that former empire would ‘never work.’ Another observer declared
the prospects for democracy in post-Hitler Germany are, and I quote, ‘most
uncertain at best’ -- he made that claim in 1957.”

What form of scholarship do we adopt when we declare a culture too backward to be free? The people of the Middle East have been oppressed by the lust for power of a few men, not their devotion to religion. As Bush countered in his speech: “A religion that demands individual moral accountability, and encourages the encounter of the individual with God, is fully compatible with the rights and responsibilities of self-government.”

And again the problems of oppression, poverty and stagnation “are not the failures of a culture or a religion. These are the failures of political and economic doctrines.”

A great and strong democracy is not made overnight. It, perhaps, can not even be realized in a few years time. It could take decades and it may never succeed without aid to protect the many against the few that would still seek to oppress.

We were not born a perfect nation. Nor have we reached our zenith yet. In its infancy even the great “American Experiment” allowed so very few to be involved. From our moment of independence, it would be 144 years before women would be given the vote. It was nearly 200 years before African-Americans would truly realize the same.

We are nearly all of us a people descended from the oppressed. Perhaps our grandparents were fortunate enough to be free at the founding of this nation. But they were still citizens of a nation escaping persecution and oppression. A very many of them came in servitude—white and black. They, like the people of the Middle East today, could only dream of the freedom we have.

What if the intellectual elite had told them democracy could not work, a free society could not stand, and they listened?

With the freedom they created comes our responsibility to others.

One man in this election is as fully devoted to finding peace through spreading democracy as Reagan was twenty years ago. Only one man has that resolve. That is why I believe this election is important. In this election one vote does make a difference.

So when we vote on November 2nd, we must remember that—once again—while we may doubt, in this moment we must not fail.


Friday, October 15, 2004

Esteemed Scholars from UT

The authors of my Torts casebook -- about which I have so recently ranted -- I have come to find are from the oh-so highly acclaimed Law School to my south.

Back in the saddle again.

It is Friday.

I am just now emerging from the cold-medicine induced haze in which I have spent most of the week.

Now I have to catch back up.

It really isn't missing the class time that has been hardest, it has been trying to study when your head is swimming.

Studying in general is a rather new convention for me. I was one of the "lucky ones" in college that never had to study. In fact, in one of my PoliSci courses my senior year I didn't even bother to purchase the book and still made an "A". I say this not to brag, but only to point out that I did myself a disservice because I had no study habits--whether good or bad--when I came to Law School.

All I had was an interview from the late Justice Marshall in which he said he was the same as an undergrad. However, he realized early in Law School that he needed to buckle down... and look where he ended. Regardless of many of our philosophical differences, Justice Marshall is and will always be my favorite justice. While I will probably never be as great a man as he, I still want to give it the same effort.

So this weekend I will be giving it even more attention so that I can get ahead again, even if it is only for a day or two.

Let me also take this chance to point out that even in a casebook, an editor/author's bias can be so transparent. Our Torts case book, for example: every edited inclusion he has used of a Judge Posner decision is used in the context of, "look how wrong the courts can be!" I happen to enjoy reading a Posner decision. The man makes a judicial decision interesting. Take this opening from Wassell v. Adams:
The plaintiff, born Susan Marisconish, grew up on Macaroni Street in a small town in a poor coal-mining region of Pennsylvania--a town so small and obscure that it has no name . . . After graduating from high school she worked briefly as a nurse's aide, then became engaged to Michael Wassell. Michael joined the Navy in 1985 . . . He and Susan decided to get married as soon as he completed basic training.

That is about as close to reading a novel as I have come since beginning Law School. I wonder if Judge Posner wrote in this way to take pity on the scores of young law students that would one day be reading his decisions; sort-of a "break" from the usual hum of cases we go through each day?

However, if Posner anticipated his decisions being studied to such degree in Law School, I also wonder if he anticipated how much criticism they would receive? I know no judge is always right, but must Posner be painted as always wrong?

To me: Just an example of author/editor bias.


Monday, October 11, 2004

I concede defeat.

If you have allergies and you put an inactive cold virus in your body, will it make things worse?

I hope the Zicam isn't the cause of all this misery.

Regardless, I give up. Count this as my first absence. I am going home.

They need to add "Law Students" to the flu shot list.

We are a high risk segment of the population. And a week out with the flu can practically mean death. I think I will begin a letter writing campaign to the CDC.

That being said, it will have to wait. I woke up this morning with a sniffling, sneezing, stuffy-head kind of feeling. I blame myself, though. I stopped taking my vitamins and "Emergen-C" 3 weeks ago.

So I poured a packet of the powder down my throat, chased that with a one-a-day and finished it all off with some Zicam.

If I can't beat it, perhaps I can shorten it.

There is nothing like trying to decipher the Supreme Court's standard on granting summary judgment and new trial motions while your head is swimming in an impenetrable fog.

When I feel better, I'll write about seeing the movie Friday Night Lights.

Friday, October 08, 2004

Google Whacking

I contemplated pulling one of the "google whack" phrases off the Google Whack Top 10 List and including it here... just to, y'know, have a little fun.

But then I thought: Some poor guy who's spent weeks trying to find two words that, when used together, will return one result in Google... it could ruin his entire reason for living.

And, obviously, I just don't want to have anyone's suicide on my hands. Not at all.

Maybe someone else will, but this 1L isn't going to sabotage the Google Whack list by making my blog pop up every time someone puts in one of those phrases.

So now I'm going back to studying.

Coffee. The sweet nectar of law school life.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Don't call it soliciting.

Just a quick blurb today.

Tomorrow we have a "practice" midterm in Contracts. Tuesday Prof. Contracts sprang that news on us. It is "practice" because he hasn't bothered to teach us anything on the subject the test will cover. So I think I will spend a good part of my day "practice" studying.

Something I found that was amusing:

In North Carolina, where John Edwards is from, ambulance chasing is acceptable.

My mother-- who is from Oklahoma-- went to North Carolina on vacation where she was hit by some kid that blew through a stop sign. The cop took her information, they exchanged insurance, and that was it. She continued her vacation.

When she finally made it back to Oklahoma, she arrived home to find 4 messages from North Carolina attorneys wanting to represent her in a personal injury suit. They are efficient, aren't they? I wonder if they've dispensed with the cheesy commercials in exchange for this little privilege of access. If so, maybe it'd be worth doing the same in Texas.

Something I found that was fascinating:

The 7th Circuit Court of Appeals for the State of Texas met at Texas Tech yesterday. It being a slow day, I had the opportunity to sit through the oral arguments for a criminal and a civil case. It was much less intimidating an atmosphere than I had imagined it would be. The judges seemed completely amiable and the attorneys, for the most part, were relaxed.

If the law isn't the absolutely best profession a person could have... I just don't know what is.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

One night only... at Madison Square Garden!!


That was a great debate. And I know the reviews have been mixed. Some have called it a draw. NBC has gone with Cheney. CBS cast its lot with Edwards. (Though I have to ask if CBS really counts as a judge anymore??)

But I must declare this one for the reigning Vice-President. I think he gets to keep the belt.

I had to write another post this morning, after my letter, to make a few comments about last night. Take, for instance, this great left hook from Cheney:

CHENEY: (paraphrasing) Your record as a public servant isn't very distinguished, Mr. Edwards. In fact, in your home state they've taken to calling you Senator "Gone". You have missed 30 of 34 meetings of the judiciary committee, 70% of the Senate votes... etc.

EDWARDS: (blank stare)

CHENEY: (NOT paraphrasing) Now, in my capacity as vice president, I am the president of Senate, the presiding officer. I'm up in the Senate most Tuesdays when they're in session. The first time I ever met you was when you walked on the stage tonight.


1... 2... 3... 4... and he's on his feet again but looking a little wobbly.


One question I did have is this: What in the world were they talking about on the Tort reform issue???

To Mr. Cheney: In Texas we passed tort reform to limit the awards in medical malpractice suits and the last I heard, it hasn't helped. I read an article a couple months ago that doctor's insurance premiums aren't going down. Some have actually gone up.

Its the insurance companies. They're blowing the smokescreen. Okay, so you want to limit the power of the jury? Fine. Now that all we've done is limit the liability of the insurance companies, can we create a little control there also???

To Mr. Edwards: What?!

That is all I have to say to Edwards. The man is a trial attorney. He knows of which he speaks.

Only 5% of all the lawsuits filed actually make it to trial. FIVE PERCENT. With that statistical figure, I find it hard to believe that a good portion-- or even a small portion-- of that 5% are "frivolous lawsuits". Most never make it beyond the first stage of the process. The rest die somewhere along the way. There are already precautions built into the system. We don't need more.

I can not believe, were Edwards speaking to a group of attorneys, he'd have been able to keep a straight face giving the answer he did last night. I don't fault him, though. What's a trial attorney to do? Bush/Cheney clearly have the upper-hand on this issue.


A Letter to the High School Band Next Door.

To Whom it May Concern:

Please, oh please, high school band people... have mercy on a 1L law student.

I live next to your fine high school-- right next door, as a matter of fact. And I'm not sure why you chose to move your marching band practice from the other side of the school to right outside my bedroom window... but for some reason, last night you did.

Yes. After a long hard day of studying, I thought I might lay down for an hour nap before watching the Vice-Presidential debate. You, however, had other plans.

Why do you wait until 6 o'clock in the evening to start practicing anyways? Back when I was in school, they practiced in the morning-- or, and here's a novel idea, right after school. Don't any of you have jobs? Family? Any other obligations beside the high school marching band?


At first, I must say, I laid there in bed and thought: "This band is pretty good." But then I realized that all you know how to play is about 20 seconds of the same song. Well, I assumed that is all you know how to play...


The same few bars of music... over... and over... and over. You played it with more brass. With no brass. With a good solid drum intro... with just drums. You played it fast. You played it slow. YOU PLAYED IT RIGHT OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM WINDOW!!

Now, at this point, I must give you a piece of advice: In order to impress the crowd Friday night, you must be able to get through an entire piece of music. It does help. It also helps if the music is recognizable. I spent the first 45 minutes playing "Name That Tune" to no avail.

I think I may go to the game Friday night. I can't wait until halftime. O, the sweet satisfaction I will have. See, as I figure it, one of two things may happen:

1. You get on the field and just march back and forth playing the same 20 seconds of that music over and over and over again. (Because that is what it looked like last night.) OR

2. You start off and look GREAT for the first 20 seconds... then, when you all realize that you never learned what to do next, all hell breaks loose. The brass section tramples over the wind instruments. The flag girls break formation and start goosing each other with the flags (I just hope no one loses an eye.) And the rythym section people, who are always known for their individuality and lust for attention, decide to each one break into a separate 10 minute drum solo. The chaos will be so sweet.

I am not a vengeful person. Really, I'm not. I just think you all should spend more time with your families. Tonight is Wednesday... go to church. Perhaps you can get a job. Do something.

Just please have mercy on the poor 1L law student next door.


Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Cabbage Patch Kids were once cool... I swear.

I was, I think, maybe 5 or 6 when I got my Cabbage Patch Kid. It was a Christmas gift from my grandparents. They gave them to all of the grandkids because it was something they could give to everyone... both boys and girls.

I think it is very cool that they're selling again. I am also diggin the new Care Bear craze. 'Course, if I had a boy now, I wouldn't give him a doll. Well, that is unless you count the Barbie-sized G.I.Joe's.

I remember those, too, from my childhood. What was so cool about the G.I.Joe dolls is that they could so kick Ken's butt when the cute blonde girl next door asked if you would play with her. She would be zooming her Barbie car around in circles in the living room while Sgt. Slaughter was beating the crap out of Barbie's boy-toy.

I'm glad that G.I.Joe reinvented himself (not like Britney or Madonna reinvention, either). The whole line of toys had gotten so ridiculous. "Hmmm, let's see how friggin big we can make his muscles. Because... oh yeah, he's gotta have muscles that big to... uh... carry this great big friggin gun!"

What has brought up this topic of my childhood again? Movies.

On Kidd Kraddick this morning they reported that Hollywood is now working on a live-action version of the Transformers (oh yeah! "More than meets the eye!") And He-Man. (I was a Skeletor fan). Better yet, they are making a... get this... SPACEBALLS 2!!!!!!!! Don't forget, also, Dukes of Hazard to hit movie screens next year.

I couldn't possibly be happier. It is like a renaissance. I still remember when my uncle brought home the Transformers cartoon movie. "It took them 5 years to make this movie," he proudly declared. And then he, my brother and I sat there-- eyes gaping, jaws dropped, drooling-- for 90 minutes of awesomeness.

I may overdose on my childhood when these movies make it to the big screen. In my fantasy I can picture driving my wife and myself to see a "Spaceballs 2"/"He-Man" double feature at the drive-in. But before the movies are over, I have crawled into the back seat... tried oh so unsuccessfully to shove my bulk into some of those footie pajamas... I am curled up with my security blanket, clutching a rubber-banded stack of Garbage Pail Kids cards, a G.I.Joe doll, and-- after much debate-- I have decided to try eating Pop Rocks AND drinking a soda at the same time. And as I concentrate on the pain that is my mouth (my head does not explode, though), I just rock back and forth, back and forth... whispering...

"By the power of Grayskull... I AM HE-MAN!"

Friday, October 01, 2004

A draw?

Unbeknownst to Mike McCurry, C-Span was listening when he asked another Kerry advisor about the debate and the reply was, “The consensus is it was a draw.”


Did I not just write a post which says otherwise?

And was I watching the same debate... or did I just doze off after 10 minutes and the rest was only a horrible nightmare?

What's a President supposed to do?

I don't have much to say today. Perhaps I will post something more later.

I will concede the defeat of my candidate in the debate last night. He looked horrible. Just remember: substance, man, substance!

I can guarantee you there will be alot more preparation before the next debate.

Kerry had two weeks. Bush didn't have the luxury.

While he should have been holed up in some hotel like Kerry, he was out doing stuff like... I don't know... traveling the state, surveying all of the hurricane damage, and attempting to console the victims.

And, Karl Rove, what were you smoking? Did you forget about the Kennedy-Nixon debate? Why would you let him go on stage looking so out of it like he did?

Ugh. What were any of them thinking. He should have been preparing.

Instead he was actually, y'know, spending his time... being President.

(His answers were horrible, though. The questions asked of both Bush and Kerry weren't all that hot, either. And those lights! those lights!! I have to agree with Kerry's people on that one.)
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